Stuffing

10 more times

Thank you for the concern for Emma- she has pulled through! She was in the hospital for 10 weeks but is now back at home. The seizures have stopped but she has a lot of rehab ahead of her- starting with learning to walk again. She and her family still need lots of prayers.

Exams ended on Friday, which is good but it it was also hard as I had been working on this for 4 months. I shed some tears Friday night.

Al said in his sermon today that he had said to Shari "I've told you that 10 times" and she sweetly replied "Tell me 10 more times". After that I came home and was working with James in the garden and we came upon this GIANT thistle. We worked on cutting it back but I knew that as I cut it back today, next week it will be back. It was so big that getting at the root was not possible. I'll cut it back today. I'll cut it back next week. I'll cut it back 10 more times. And then maybe 10 more. Eventually, I can only hope that the root will become damaged and then it would not come back any longer. We'll see.
I see that in my life too, though it's more complicated than a thistle. I change things in my life. I change my job and things get better for a while. But the same things keep cropping up over and over. I feel the old wound back again. But I know, I got through this the last time and the time before and the time before and I will get through this time. Just when I think I left it behind, there it is.
What I realized as I saw the old wound resurface on Friday is that I seem to be using the wound for strength. The wound is able to drive me and give me the strength to operate as I do. But I don't want this. I want to operate out of God's strength. Not out of my strength. Not out of my wound's strenth.

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posted by Aphra @ 5/02/2010 09:46:00 PM