The fake smile
Years and years ago at Next, I was helping at one of the lunches and someone said that I had a fake smile. This surprised me because I felt it was quite genuine. I don't suppose that anyone can have a 100% genuine smile in that everyone has some hurts residing somewhere, but at the time the comment was made I was feeling happy and peaceful. Until that comment. After the comment it probably was a fake smile as my brain tried to assimilate the fact that while I was smiling a genuine smile someone didn't interpret it as that. And I did understand that the person wasn't saying it out of malice but maybe not all mental capacities were functioning correctly.And that affected me for months afterwards as I was always analyzing my smile.
I still encounter that person from time to time. I try to smile as genuinely as I can but it is always fake because the hurt is still there and I no longer know how to smile a genuine smile with that person. Not that the person cares or notices. Funny that the person who thought my smile was fake when it was genuine thinks the fake smiles are genuine.
posted by Aphra @ 1/27/2013 11:26:00 PM
2 Comments:
I dont[ want you to think i am making light of your hurt, but you could always imagine sticking your tongue out at that person when you need to smile at them. Then in your head you would snicker and smile a secret smile at them :)
Thanks for the REAL smile Jordin!
I don't think it is really a hurt anymore as it was so long ago but I do approach this person with a wall of caution now!
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