Birth
Both Jordin and Karla had baby boys this week. So glad they all seem to be safe. For me, birth seems terribly scary. When I had James, I was ignorant of what was to come. I am so glad that I have him, because every day I love him more. He is a light in my life. But go through all that again? It's hard to imagine. I would need to be stronger and less selfish. Just thinking of birth constricts me, it is even hard to pray. (Edited to add: Before I scare Marlene to bits- it was the C-section and associated problems that freak me out. The labour before that was painful, but I could have got over that, it was the nastiness that came after. I talked to my doctor about it and she said that most women, the pain from the memory of the birth-day fades, but, she said, evidently not with you!)
posted by Aphra @ 12/22/2006 11:10:00 PM
3 Comments:
i hear you... if it were up to me, i don't think i would choose it again either. but what if it were up to god instead of us? what then?
Well, I've been hoping that God will take all the bad feelings away to make me o.k. with this. But maybe I'll never get o.k. with it. Myron wanted another in Nov of next year, but that's right in the middle of my teaching year, so maybe May 2008. But I feel old an inadequate and like I'll loose my job and all I've worked for over it. I have 7 months to reconcile all these feeling and then see if nature cooperates. We only use World of Warfare birth control, and I have told God he is in control. But you would be surprised how effective WOWBC is.
I never had to make the choice since I became pregnant by accident. But like you, I love my son more every day. It's hard to say if I would have chose to have another child (too late now).
I'll pray for you - please don't worry yourself now. Wait and see how you feel in 7 months :)
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