Stuffing

"Tell him: 'One who puts on his armor should not boast like one who takes it off.' "1 Kings 20:11

Ahab, pushed by his wife Jezebel and in open defiance of God, set an alltime record in making big business of evil. He indulged in outrageous obscenities in the world of idols, copying the Amorites whom God had earlier kicked out of Israelite territory.

6 The king of Israel got the prophets together—all four hundred of them —and put the question to them: "Should I attack Ramoth Gilead? Or should I hold back?"

"Go for it," they said. "God will hand it over to the king."

7 But Jehoshaphat dragged his heels: "Is there still another prophet of God around here we can consult?"

8 The king of Israel told Jehoshaphat, "As a matter of fact, there is still one such man. But I hate him. He never preaches anything good to me, only doom, doom, doom—Micaiah son of Imlah."

"The king shouldn't talk about a prophet like that," said Jehoshaphat.

9 So the king of Israel ordered one of his men, "On the double! Get Micaiah son of Imlah."

10-12 Meanwhile, the king of Israel and Jehoshaphat were seated on their thrones, dressed in their royal robes, resplendent in front of the Samaria city gates. All the prophets were staging a prophecy-performance for their benefit. Zedekiah son of Kenaanah had even made a set of iron horns, and brandishing them called out, "God's word! With these horns you'll gore Aram until there's nothing left of him!" All the prophets chimed in, "Yes! Go for Ramoth Gilead! An easy victory! God's gift to the king!"

13 The messenger who went to get Micaiah said, "The prophets have all said Yes to the king. Make it unanimous—vote Yes!"

14 But Micaiah said, "As surely as God lives, what God says, I'll say."

15 With Micaiah before him, the king asked him, "So Micaiah—do we attack Ramoth Gilead, or do we hold back?"

"Go ahead," he said. "An easy victory. God's gift to the king."

16 "Not so fast," said the king. "How many times have I made you promise under oath to tell me the truth and nothing but the truth?"

17 "All right," said Micaiah, "since you insist.
I saw all of Israel scattered over the hills,
sheep with no shepherd.
Then God spoke: 'These poor people
have no one to tell them what to do.
Let them go home and do
the best they can for themselves.'"

18 Then the king of Israel turned to Jehoshaphat, "See! What did I tell you? He never has a good word for me from God, only doom."

19-23 Micaiah kept on: "I'm not done yet; listen to God's word:
I saw God enthroned,
and all the angel armies of heaven
Standing at attention
ranged on his right and his left.
And God said, 'How can we seduce Ahab
into attacking Ramoth Gilead?'
Some said this,
and some said that.
Then a bold angel stepped out,
stood before God, and said,
'I'll seduce him.'
'And how will you do it?' said God.
'Easy,' said the angel,
'I'll get all the prophets to lie.'
'That should do it,' said God.
'On your way—seduce him!'
"And that's what has happened. God filled the mouths of your puppet prophets with seductive lies. God has pronounced your doom."

24 Just then Zedekiah son of Kenaanah came up and punched Micaiah in the nose, saying, "Since when did the Spirit of God leave me and take up with you?"

25 Micaiah said, "You'll know soon enough; you'll know it when you're frantically and futilely looking for a place to hide."