Feelings
I can generally tell how well I'm doing by how often I post here. The Rogers blog suffers only from lack of time, but this one suffers if something is lacking in me, that I don't want to talk.I feel the weight of being the lone person with a job, with the need for finding something permanent in the job regard, with being the person who also carries the load of the house. I carry a few things on my shoulders.
During my nasty busy time, when the weight of work was the heaviest, my mother decided she needed to tell me what is wrong in our relationship. It was really a bad time she picked to release all this information to me. But I guess she couldn't hold it in any longer. Now I am glad she said something, because I don't want her bottling stuff up, as she evidently was. But I had NO CLUE that there was anything wrong with our relationship. I am at heart a very logical person and she is a very feelings based person, so we see things very differently. I just had no idea how differently.
I don't cope too well with people who show emotions. I wouldn't make a good psychologist. When my students get upset (once in a while it happens- if they are stressed out or having a bad day, etc.) and I'm not quite sure how to cope.
I am trying to notice more about other people's feelings. I am trying to ask more feeling-based questions.
But my time with my parents is usually down time for me, when I don't have to worry about caring for everyone/everything and it can't be like that anymore. It's no longer a soft spot for me. I will have to be on edge and careful and watching to see that I say and do the right things.
I had a couple of things happen at work today. They were funny, but not ha ha funny, but interesting in the way they occurred. That they did occur did make my load feel lighter and I am grateful.
posted by Aphra @ 10/31/2008 11:20:00 PM
1 Comments:
I would put myself in the logic-oriented camp. I'm not convinced that logic-oriented people have any less feeling than others. I used to think that. Now I think that the difference is where the feelings lie. In others, feelings tend to rise easily to the surface. Logic-oriented people have deep feelings that aren't easily exposed but are just as real - and may actually be much more powerful than those that we typically consider to be emotion-oriented folk. As for how others see our relationships, Al has some interesting thoughts about how we need community to help us see these important aspects of our lives in perspective - things like relationships, careers, spiritual issues, etc. I think it is important to hear what others say. And sometimes important for the speakers to get it off their chest. But in the end, you are the one who knows best what is going on in your own life. After you hear the reflections of others, you are the only one who can make the final human judgments of your own life. All relationships are flawed - we're a flawed humanity. That's where the redeeming grace of God enters in, making even the inadequate relationships things of beauty.
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