Who you are
Yesterday
SUPERMARKETMONKEY mentioned Mike Warnke. I had
no idea that Mike had a scandal and was exposed for telling lies.
When I first became a Christian (1991), my best friend took me to see Mike in 'concert'. He was appearing in a town close to ours.
I remember clearly the event. He was a "Christian comedian" (maybe he still is?) and he was very funny, but he was also very serious. I remember the Bible passage that he spoke on. I remember that he gave the impression to me that God and reading your Bible was serious things and important things.
I did a lot of reading on the web about Mike last night. I read the article that exposed all the lies. I read that at the time that he gave the concert in 1991 he was on his 4th wife. That he had problems with fidelity. That he had problems with telling lies. That he made fraudulent use of people's money.
I think the article led to him closing the ministry in 1992.
He had some character flaws (don't we all?). When you are in ministry should you have less character flaws? Should people be allowed to judge you more if you are in the public eye? If you are a role model for kids, do you have more responsibility? If God gave him the ministry, should a flawed character cause him to close it? Was it wrong for him to say that he was a satanist if he was using it as a 'gimmick' to get people to his concerts? Does the end justify the means?
Lessons in love
Henrie shared with me a bit last night about how he hurt her so bad. But in her voice all I heard was her love for him. It made me cry, it was so beautiful. She is safe now and a lesson in love.
All the time
"Escape is not a dirty word. None of us can face what's happening head-on all of the time." Sheldon Kopp
I have moments where I sit down and wonder if I have what it takes to keep on. I have to keep on in God's strength.
I wrote about
Saul on my bible blog. How he had to face so much stuff. How he kept making mistakes. How did he keep going?
I was talking with a girl who is pretty new to the Christian life and she is struggling. Struggling as the world is pulling on her and she feels like going back to her old ways. How I know that the roots will deepen given time. That her connection will grow stronger. But did I tell her it would get easier? Certainly not! The longer that you are a Christian, it is NOT easier. Better, but not easier. The more you grow, the more responsibility you have and that makes things all the more complicated.
Beyond the veil
While I was away I read Alice Smith's
"Beyond the Veil"She has a quote by A.J. Gordon "I have long since ceased to pray 'Lord, have compassion on a lost world.' I remember the day and the hour when I seemed to hear the Lord rebuking me for making such a prayer. He seemed to say to me 'I have had compassion on a lost world , and now it is time for you to have compassion'"
He did have compassion by sending Jesus. At prayer on Wed. Henrie said that we will never understand that sacrifice.
In the book she wrote something that she prays is "Lord, what is on Your Heart today?". I like that one.
Grow up
I did apply for the job I wrote about a couple of posts back. I got more excited about it as I wrote the cover letter because I gained some understanding of the job and that it probably would be a good job.
It would, however, require me to 'grow up'. Instead of working flexible hours, I would have to work set hours. Instead of working basically for myself and prioritizing tasks myself, I would have to work with someone who did that for me. But it would give us as a family some stability, and would give Myron his car:)
I really don't mind either way about the job. I have put it in God's hands. Though I do keep asking Him questions like - is it time to move away from RMC? Is this what He wants?
I do love the jobs I have but I think this might be the last year for both of them. I was thinking after this year of applying for jobs, this has just come up earlier than my personal timeline!
Regarding De-Nile, I talked with Bob a bit today and some of what he said is still running through my mind. I think there were changes occuring for a long time, I just wasn't/didn't want to see them.
