Fragile friendships
My relationship with my best friend is NOT a fragile one. We've known each other since grade 5. On the day we met, I think we both instantly knew we would be best friends. In grade 5 we went to the same school, liked the same boy and lived across the street from each other and so did practically everything together. From gr. 6-8 I went to a different school, but we kept up our friendship by writing long notes to each other (on paper- before email!). From gr 9-13 we went to the same highschool. We had lots of fun together there. Then I left for Queen's. When I came back for my Christmas break she was going to a new Church and brought me along. She helped me meet Jesus and discipled me in my young faith. We always kept in touch and now still do thanks mostly to facebook. Even though I rarely see her, when I do it's like I never left. You know that kind of friendship? That is so rooted in you that it can't break?
I was thinking about the fragility of friendships in relation to another friend. I have known her for about 14 years and for many, many years it was a very surface friendship but a few years ago, she started to open up more. I thought this was good, but I don't think I realized what a gift it was or how difficult this was. Last week, she told me she had opened up to another mutual friend and what a big deal this was. That she felt safe. I then felt very honoured that she felt safe enough to open up to me previously. We talked about this and I said that she had opened up to 2 people and we LIKE her. We didn't run away screaming. lol. I hope that she continues to open up rather than hide.
Vehicles
3 nights in a row I had nightmares about losing control of the blue hyundai. Funny because I am so far doing ok with the driving. Maybe my sunconscious is unhappy that my conscious is happy.
I had a funny incident yesterday. I drove to Food Basics to get groceries. It was the one on Princess, not my usual Barrack St. one. In one aisle there was a tall man walking up and down the aisle *sighing* quite loudly. It was obvious that he was looking for something he couldn't find. As he seemed rather distressed, I stopped to pray for him. Well, I stopped the cart and looked at something on the shelf, but praying is what I was doing. So he came up to me and asked if I knew where the Shake and Bake was. As I have been through fruitlessly looking for shake and bake before, I told him yes it would be by the breadcrumbs in the bread aisle. I was guessing. I hadn't seen them in that store before as I have passed through my shake and bake phase since I found I could make things better than them! lol. When it came time to check out, I got in line behind him, even though it was probably the longest line to be in. I didn't mind. I kept praying for the dude. He was quite efficient in his packing of groceries. And he had a lot of groceries -$300 worth. He walked out of the store just before me and I could see that we had parked next to each other. His vehicle was a wheelchair access bus and he was obviously doing this shopping for his work. I'll have to ask Kim if CH has a bus like that. The poor guy probably thought I was stalking him, but it wasn't me!
Truth hurts
I like truth. I think it is a good thing. Hearing truth about myself is not always easy, but it is necessary.
At work I see lack of truth by omission. It isn't outright lying, but it is misleading. One course I was doing the instructor gave me access to his email and I replied to all the student assignments, but I did not sign my name (as requested by the instructor). The email automatically signed his name (in the sig file) so it looked like he was doing all the work for the course, but it was really me. It didn't really bother me because I don't care if I get credit for things and I probably write more controversial things than he would ever write and I don't have to take any of the blame really! Does it make a difference to the students? Likely not. Just the principal of the thing.
I was at the main office for one of my courses the other day for a meeting and as there were other people in the meeting room, I went to the waiting room. This room still had handouts (mainly for the students) from last year. One was a 'contacts' sheet that listed a contact from each of the first year courses. I was rather amused to find that I was listed as the 'coordinator' of my course, when I was not. I was, however, the correct contact to list, as the actual coordinator just forwarded emails to me.
I was having a conversation the other day with someone and at the end it took a bad turn as the person made a joke about taking their own life. Now, I *think* I know the person well enough to know that they were not seriously considering it. But, do we really know anyone else? Don't joke about that stuff. It makes me worry.
Alternate view
I always find it interesting when other people tell me their impressions of me as it is hard to gauge how other people perceive me as I'm stuck here with me all the time!
During Church yesterday, I sat next to Laurie. The service started with about 5 songs. I sang to God and I endeavored to listen to God. I had a great (if messy- I was crying at one point- not sad crying- hard to explain I guess) time.
After the service Laurie said she could tell I was very spiritually open. Oh? She said she heard the sounds I was making that it was 'like praying in toungues'. Well, it probably was not just 'like', it probably was it in actuality, though I had no recollection of doing so and I had no idea with all the music that anyone could actually hear me. Not that I would change anything. But interesting.
Little children
Myron's mom passed away today. Freakily, I had this dream that I posted on my dream blog a few hours before she passed:
I was attending a funeral for a lady. The predominant colour was purple. In the handout at the funeral, it started "Laughingly". i wasn't sure if people would be offended by this. I was writing a card. Inside the card there was lots of printed writing and I wrote "We will miss you" into the card.
After Myron called to let me know, I didn't know what to do but I decided on heading to the library to pick up some DVDs. The one I decided to watch when I got home was called "Little children". It was an interesting movie (and a long one too!) and seemed to be about how people deal with different problems. During most of the movie, people dealt with problems in generally immature ways- they ran from them, they ignored them or they confronted them in unhealthy ways. At the end of the movie, it seemed that the characters had matured and could take on problems in a more healthy manner. The movie ended with a line that said - the past is the past but the future has to begin sometime.
hearing
This past week something has been wrong with my ears and has affected my hearing. My ears have had what feels like a cloud over them. And so when people talk, I'll miss bits of what they say. I would have to focus very hard to hear through the cloud. And the cloud has been annoyingly loud.
Through this I realized a few things. One is that I noticed the difference between good hearing and bad because I have had good hearing up to this point in my life. If you don't know what good hearing is, you wouldn't miss it.
Hearing people is useful, but hearing God is needed. My prayer this week has been, if I loose my physical hearing (which I don't think is actually going to happen- I think it's just an allergy or something) I don't care, I just don't want to stop hearing from You!
I also wonder if how I hear from God is in a cloud, not perfect and I don't know that I could hear Him better because I haven't heard any clearer than I do now.
