I'm in the room
I am not quite sure how to deal with a guy I am currently working with on a project. And I don't mind discussing it here because today he was trash talking about my project and I was in the room. Maybe he thought I couldn't hear him, but I could. Every word. Actually, he probably DID hope that I heard. He wants me off the project very badly. To my face he tells me I am doing a 'make work project'. But he does give a surface attempt to help me- he'll ask me if I need anything, or if there is anything he can do. But when I tell him something I need, he says he'll take care of it, but does nothing. So basically I'm on my own, navigating political waters to make everyone come out of the project looking good and still doing the project. So, challenging, yes.
Also, my fragile friendship at work that I was talking about a few posts down told me today that work friends aren't 'real' friends. Nice.
Disappointment
Today at communion I apologized to God for being a disappointment. I suppose I feel that way because if I were God, I would be disappointed in me! My life doesn't look anything like what I had hoped. Now I know that God doesn't think like me (thankfully!) and may not be disappointed in me at all. But I know that I am.
support
I went to the
"Online Gamers Anonymous" site today. It actually made me feel quite ill reading these people's stories and knowing how close it is to my own story. So, I didn't find it terribly supportive, more like depressing. They have a chat session on Sunday nights from 9-10pm. They call it a 'non-religious terms chat' which i find a bit baffling. Are there chats about this WITH religious terms?
Henri asked me the other day if my Kijiji selling was escapism. In a way it is. I enjoy the listing, the biking, the meeting people. A little escapism isn't bad!
But the reason I started selling with Al was I was praying about what God wanted me to do and this is what I felt to do. I wasn't sure when I had the thought if it would be helpful to Al as he runs a pretty smooth ship and I wasn't sure if having another person involved would help him or hinder him. But it seems to have worked out well. We try hard not to each sell the same object to 2 different people :)
