I met Jay Smith!
I may be a little bit starstruck? If you don't know who Jay Smith is, he's a Christian aplogetics teacher. He doesn't apologize, he knows a lot about Christianity and Islam and is an excellent teacher. I got to have a conversation with him. It was very helpful indeed! There's a lot about him on youtube.
I think God has given me 2 specific things to pray for him. I don't know if it is a long term or a short term prayer commitment. (I like to know this sort of stuff before I commit to God that I will do it. Ha Ha- am I trying to bargain with God? probably. I never learn) I think it may be long term but I am doubting myself because I am telling myself I am just star struck!
I'm in
I wrote and posted the previous "Fences" and then it felt like the Spirit of God was reminding me about my fences. That the picture of a person with fences applies to quite a lot of people.
I know that I keep well maintained fences. That I may avoid situations where I have to deal with taking parts of my fence down. That I can manipulate conversations so that I don't actually have to talk about myself.
I need to work on that.
Thank you for exposing what needs to be exposed
And loving what needs to be loved.
Fences
On my last post Michelle made a good comment that indicated that the decision to allow a person to return to Church might depend on what the crime was.
I think this crystallized the whole post.
I know it is important to protect the community as a whole and so you would have to make these decisions on a case by case basis.
But I think it shouldn't depend on the crime, I think it should depend on the person's heart.
The thing that we can't see into other people's hearts, so we can't tell when we are being told the truth or a lie. We would have to rely on God's discernment.
On a completely different topic now, I think that recently God has given me a prayer assignment. It is something very different for me. In the past I have prayed focused prayers for people and there are people I pray for daily but this is different- it is more like an intercession type prayer. I think God showed me a picture of this individual with a very high fence around them (over their head) and every now and then they would allow a board to come loose and the prayer could get in. The person has to allow the prayer in, God is a gentleman and he never goes in where He isn't wanted. And I think the same is true for prayer. Specific intercession can't go in unless the person allows it.
Redemption
Hypothetical question (not actually happening at Rustle):
If there is someone in your Church congregation who was arrested and will be punished according to the law of the land. If the police say that it is ok for the person to return to Church only IF the Church says it is ok, should your Church say it is ok?
If you look at redemption of the individual, you would say yes. But you also have to think about the community as a whole, how it would affect them?
Prayers of gratitude and grieving
This morning when I arrived at work, I was startled to discover an answer to prayer. It was completely unexpected but I am very grateful! I don't feel like I responded correctly because it completely blindsided me, but I think that's ok. I'll do better next time.
This past week, when I went to the doctor for my hand I saw the nurse who worked with me when I was pregnant with James. It made me nostalgic and sad. Not that I want to have another baby. I don't believe I have the energy for that! What my problem is seems to stem back to a day when James was only maybe 6 days old (and I know I was hormonal and all) and I remember sitting at the kitchen table with him in my arms and just KNOWING that he would be my only baby. And I was crying a lot. And everyone said to me that it would be alright and that I was just emotional and not thinking straight, or whatever. But I needed to grieve it. And apparently I needed to grieve it then and I didn't get to because I listened to the rational voices around me. (Kim was telling me last week about how she knew there was something wounded in her spirit years ago and people didn't take it seriously and said she would be ok in a year or so) If something is wrong, sometimes you shouldn't placate it.
When I when to Calvary Church last night, they announced their ladies night theme that was this evening was 'babies' so I thought that since I was having issues with this, that I should go. I gave myself permission to grieve even if it was in a bunch of mainly strangers. However, the night didn't go so much as I expected. It was more teaching than interaction, which is fine. Looking at baby pictures was a wee bit difficult, but I did ok. So not so much grieving, more learning which was easier and I was completely fine with.
